Peasants
by Alex Ryzlin Gold
Summary: The last person Ruby had expected to see at the Rabbit Hole's bar, repeatedly pouring and taking shots of vodka was Regina Mills. Established Red Queen, alive and heart-given Cora. Swearing and drunk Regina.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own OUAT, what a shame.

The last person Ruby had expected to see at the Rabbit Hole's bar, repeatedly pouring and taking shots of vodka was Regina Mills. She was dressed impeccably in a tight black dress that Ruby had to fight not to stare too long at. Everyone else was giving her side glances and keeping her in their sight but trying (AND FAILING) to look like they weren't. The bar was quieter, but Frank, the bartender, looked happy enough. Probably because less people were talking and instead were drinking more, which was making Frank more money. Ruby guessed he was feeling very generous because Regina had one of his more expensive bottles. Not that she couldn't afford it, but it meant that other people weren't playing ten bucks per shot.

Ruby blew Regina a kiss when she looked up and Regina smiled. It was nice to see because she had been staring into her shot glass miserably. Ruby knew things had been hard for Regina lately. She had gone crazy in her efforts to get Henry to love her and had teamed up with her mother which had been all sorts of bad, but nothing had prepared Regina or Storybrooke for the tornado of destruction that was Cora Mills with a heart. The worst part was the she didn't even mean to do any harm, and really when she pouted and acted as emotionally stunted as she was people tended to give her a free pass.

Ruby knew better than anyone else how stressed all of this made Regina. Regina was not adapting well to suddenly having a caring mother after over fifty years of abuse and assumed death. Add in the fact that Cora had ripped out her own heart when she was still quite young and not emotionally an adult (despite having been forced to grow up quickly), Regina was quickly overwhelmed with having to look after a woman with the emotional state of mind of a teenager. But more than anything, Regina was terrified of Cora. Not of Cora's magic or the years of past abuse (though that was the biggest elephant in the room that neither Regina nor Cora liked to poke at), but that this change wasn't permanent. She was terrified that Cora would turn around, rip her heart out and again and become the woman obsessed with power; which was the reason why Ruby and Cora hadn't been formally introduced any more than it was needed for Ruby to take Cora's order at the diner. She most certainly hadn't been introduced as Regina's girlfriend, and Ruby understood that. She honestly didn't mind and part of that was that if Cora did start being heartless again Ruby would be the first to know, and she'd find out rather painfully. And that would only lead to a heartbroken Regina and no one wanted to travel that road again. Ruby _got_ it, because she certainly would have waited a while before introducing anyone to her slightly homicidal mother (had she still be alive of course), but it still sucked and not just because it meant they spent less time together.

Ruby liked being able to wander over to Regina's house whenever she liked and she liked just spending time with Regina. Unfortunately that wasn't happening but that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was watching Regina stress out and not being able to do anything about it in case Cora saw and decided that a good part of the 'don't you hurt my daughter' speech included one less heart in one very in love werewolf. But that didn't mean she wasn't going to carefully watch her girlfriend from across the bar while she had a girls night out.

Two hours later and the bar was a bit louder since Emma had arrived and everyone else had relaxed with her presence there. Everyone had been stressed lately so drinks had been drunk rather quickly. Belle was so drunk off of long island iced teas that she was misquoting the Grimm fairy tales at everyone and Ashley was loudly debating with herself the pros and cons of walking up to Regina and thanking her for the curse seeing as it gave her husband back to her without taking away her daughter thanks to Emma's intervention. Emma was still mostly sober because while she wasn't on call she was the only person who could deal with certain Storybrooke inhabitants which meant that even when she wasn't on call she sort of was. Ruby was the same though that had more to do with wolf genes than a choice of not drinking. Snow had already passed weepy drunk (which was horrible to witness) and was doodling small woodland creatures onto the table top with a few crayons that had obviously stuck with her after the curse had broken.

Ruby looked up to see that Regina had drunk most of the bottle of vodka, though not enough to kill herself but it was sure heading that way. Much like Ruby's wolf metabolism, Regina's magic burnt up all toxins and extra fat. She always managed to surprise people by eating just as much as Ruby (more if she had been using magic, but that was rare nowadays). Ruby nudged Emma.

"I'll be back shortly. I've just got to make sure her highness doesn't kill herself with Frank's best vodka."

Emma nodded as Ruby got up. Ruby walked up behind Regina and wrapped her arms around her waist.

"Hey gorgeous. Come here often?"

"I'll have you know that my girlfriend is a werewolf and could _totally_ kick your ass." Regina slurred.

Ruby chuckled and nipped at Regina's ear. "Nice to know you think so highly of my ass kicking abilities."

"I would have liked to have had you working for me back home. If people annoyed me I could have just told you to kick their asses and then you would have and it would have been nice."

One thing Regina Mills lost when drunk was her extensive vocabulary, though she was no less articulate.

"Fucking Snow White stealing my wolf. Fucker."

She also tended to swear. Ruby hugged Regina to her, intercepting the hand that was trying to pour another shot.

"But I'm with you now, which is all that matters. And you're going to stop drinking that vodka and sober up a bit."

"Why?"

"Because you love me, and I asked you to."

Regina let out a whine but Ruby knew it was an agreement.

"Maybe you can come back to my place tonight. Assuming you're okay with leaving your mother alone."

"Fuck her." Regina growled out. "She can go fuck herself all the way to Oz for all I care."

Ruby gestured for Frank to bring a glass of water which he placed in front of Regina. Ruby dug through Regina's purse and pulled out her credit card for Frank who quickly charged it and handed it back, taking the bottle of vodka with him.

"What did she do this time?"

"She somehow got it into her head that she owed Henry eleven years worth of birthday presents. So she went around town finding stuff for him."

"That doesn't sound too bad."

"Yeah, except she fucking stole all of it. Eleven years worth of birthday shit and she stole it all. I had to go and pay for it all too because she had already given it to Henry. I can't take presents away from my son! That'd make me a bitch."

Ruby kissed the top of Regina's head, knowing the action would calm her down. It wasn't a money thing, Regina was loaded. It was that Regina had been forced to go around town fixing her mother's mistakes. Again (but they didn't talk about the time Cora turned half the town into ferrets).

"I'm just so fucking sick of it!"

Emma gently tapped Ruby on the shoulder; she looked mildly surprised at Regina's swearing.

"Are you good to drive tonight?"

Ruby nodded and Emma sighed in relief. "Thank god. I've got to head downtown. I need you to get everyone home. Cora's causing some more problems."

"Bitch!"

Emma opened her mouth and shut it again, still kind of shocked about Regina swearing. Ruby just shook her head.

"That wasn't to you. Regina's just very annoyed at Cora at the moment."

Regina let out a small cackle that caught the attention of almost everyone in the bar (except Snow, but she was concentrating very hard on her drawing). She reached towards Emma, almost falling off of her bar stool (or as much as you could with a werewolf holding onto you) and grabbed Emma's belt. She yanked Emma closer and grabbed her handcuffs before being set right by Ruby's steadying hands. Regina stared at the handcuffs for a few seconds before they started to glow purple. Ruby could practically see Regina becoming more and more sober the more magic she used (though at this point she was so far away from sober that it wasn't making _that_ much of a difference). As soon as the purple glow faded she handed the handcuffs back to Emma.

"That should keep her in one place. Just make sure that place isn't my fucking house. Put her in jail. Wouldn't that be nice? If I hear from her before tomorrow morning, Sheriff, I will fuck you up. My girlfriend's a werewolf, you know?"

Regina slumped forward a bit, completely invalidating her previous threat. Ruby swept her arms under Regina to carry her bridal style.

"Help me get the rest of them into my car and I'll take care of it."

Emma rounded up Snow, Belle and Ashley and managed to get them all into the back seat of Ruby's car. Regina was still proving a hand full but Ruby managed to get her settled rather quickly with a few kisses.

"Drive safely, Ruby."

Ruby smirked. "It's not my driving that will be the problem. The problem is stopping everyone in the car from killing each other. I bet Regina will call at least one of them a peasant before we get to the first house."

Emma groaned. "Do not let her make my night harder. I already have to take her mother into custody for destroying a traffic light after it wouldn't change fast enough or something."

Ruby grinned and hopped into her car as Emma headed to her bug. It was quite for the first few minutes but then Ashley started sobbing loudly.

"I love you Regina! I love you sooooo much."

Ashley leaned forward and tried to wrap her hands around Regina's shoulders.

"You bought them back to me and I love you."

Regina leaned away slapping at Ashley's hands.

"Don't touch me, peasant! Keep your dirty hands to yourself."

Belle giggled. "Ruby's a peasant. You certainly like _her_ hands."

That was the last time Ruby told Belle anything about her and Regina's sex life… particularly is Regina remembered that comment in the morning.

Regina huffed. "She's not a peasant. She's my princess and when we get married she'll rule next to me as a Queen. That means she's _not_ a peasant."

"Hey!" Snow said indigently. "I'm a Queen, and so is Ashley … uh … Cinderella… you know who I mean!"

"Nope." Regina said with a shake of her head. "That sounds like peasant talk, and peasants don't know anything about being royalty. So be quiet."

Regina crossed her arms across her chest and muttered under her breath. "Fucking peasants."

They were all silent for a few moments before Regina spoke up again. "She's a werewolf you know? She can kick your asses."


End file.
